a yorkshire penny

A Yorkshire man of northern grit
And sharp-tongued wit
Yet slow to speak with
An arm-on-raised knee stance.
On bar stool he's no-one's fool,
Rarely takes an outside chance,
But far softer than apparent
On this first pub-wards glance.

Tight as a badger's arse
But up 'ere where we are, apparently we all are!
For them of few words and few spare pounds
We have a saying:

"Hear all,
See all,
Say nowt.
Drink all,
Eat all,
Pay nowt!"

This stereotype has clout amongst
Air-kissing arseholes
Of 'keeping up with the Jones' ''
Territory. But Up 'ere where we are
We tend more
To compete with moans and groans of illness;
Of brittle bones and perhaps
The odd old motor-home.