having a word with myself

yesterday, i acted like a brat. lost all positivity and everything i've mentally worked for in the past six months in a haze of wants and desires. didn't care that other people had bigger fish to fry and i was being extremely selfish. just wanted to whine like a child about me, my problems and what i was doing with my little life. my poor mum, every ready with a shoulder to cry on, despite the fact her father has just died. oh dear. i apologised this morning, when i woke aware of how ridiculous i'd been. she brought me here today in the car, just before she drove to manchester to visit my brother. my old student stomping ground. setting of a time when life was simpler and i knew i was doing something worthwhile. or did i? who knows. at the time i'm sure i had other stuff to moan about. then when i finished, the world suddenly stopped looking like it was my oyster and started looking pretty damn confusing. where to start with all these decisions?! life is long and full of struggles, but the moments of happiness and beauty make it all worthwhile.